Settlement Conference Success A pre-trial settlement conference is a great opportunity to resolve some or all of your divorce issues. Even if your husband is hostile, in the presence of a settlement judge he may be willing to negotiate. This possibility makes preparation for a settlement conference worthwhile. These steps will assist you in your preparation and may improve your chances of success.

1. Identify the issues in your case.
Use our Divorce Issues Checklist to determine the unresolved issues in your case. Establish your goals and set bottom lines for each. Also, prioritize matters based on how important they are to you. Flag any issues you’re unwilling to negotiate and those you’re willing to give up, for the right price.

2. Understand how the law affects your case.
To the best of your ability, and as it relates to your case, know your state’s family law. For example, if you’re asking for alimony, spousal support or maintenance, find out if you’re legally entitled to it. If you are, also find out how payments are calculated and the projected frequency and length of payments. By understanding your legal rights, you’ll know your bargaining strengths and weaknesses and will be able to negotiate accordingly.

3. Know the estimated costs of trial.
In negotiations, it’s important to know your risks and what you stand to lose if you don’t settle your case. By knowing your risks, you can weigh them against the benefits of a settlement offer and make educated decisions.

4. Remain open to unique opportunities.
Once you understand your state’s family law, you may think your negotiations are restricted to that which you are legally entitled to receive. Generally speaking, this isn’t true. You and your husband can agree to a divorce settlement that awards property, support or other rights you aren’t otherwise entitled to receive by law. For example, even if you aren’t legally entitled to receive alimony, spousal support or maintenance, your husband can nonetheless agree to be legally bound to make payments to you.

5. Keep a few secrets.
Before and during settlement negotiations, you walk a fine line between disclosure and exposure. You want to convince your spouse that he should accept your offer but, at the same time, maintain an element of surprise in case you go to trial. To achieve this balance, work with your lawyer and develop a strategy that allows your husband to see some, but not all, of your cards.

6. Be determined.
Negotiate the best terms you possibly can. Carefully consider the life-long consequences of any settlement offers. Keep asking for what you need until you get it or until you get close enough.

7. Be ready for a little give and take.
It’s common, and often necessary, for spouses to compromise during settlement conferences. Each spouse usually accepts something less than they might receive at trial to avoid risks and costs. Prepare yourself. If necessary, concede unimportant issues in exchange for those you value. Split the difference when you hit an impasse and remember your ultimate goal: to negotiate a settlement you can live with while avoiding the costs and risks of trial.

8. Be patient.
Understand that a settlement conference involves a process. Like buying a new car, offers and counteroffers will be traded until a mutually agreeable decision is made. It takes time and perseverance. Remember to keep your long-term goals in mind and hang in there.

9. Get it in writing.
If you reach a settlement with your husband, thoroughly detail your agreement in writing and make sure both your husband and his lawyer sign it. Keep the original or, if necessary, give it to the settlement officer and keep a copy. Also, make sure the terms of your agreement become part of your legally binding divorce decree.

This article is not legal advice. You should consult an attorney if you have legal questions that relate to your specific divorce.

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