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Preparing for Divorce

Divorce is a complicated process, both legally and emotionally. It requires strength, perseverance and hard work. Thoughtful planning, however, can make your transition from wife to single life smoother. Planning should begin the moment you decide to divorce. If you’ve already decided to divorce, begin planning and taking these steps now.

Find and speak with a family lawyer.
Some things are best handled by professionals and divorce is usually one of those things. Whether you file a contested or uncontested divorce, you need to understand your legal rights. Use our guidelines and tips for finding, choosing and consulting lawyers.
Find and speak to a therapist.
Divorce involves loss and uncertainty. A therapist can provide support, help you grieve and help you move forward in a positive direction. Use our guidelines for finding and choosing therapists.
Get a post office box.
Do this at a post office in a neighboring town that is a convenient distance from home or work. Don’t do it at your local post office where you and your husband already pick-up your mail. Use your new mailing address on everything related to your divorce.
Set up a new email account with a username and password your husband doesn’t know and won’t guess.
Do this using an email service provider your husband doesn’t use. Want more? Get it withYahoo! Mail Plus. Always log out of your email account after using it and close your browser.
Get your own cell phone.
Do this using a cellular telephone company your husband does not use. Don’t add another line to your husband’s already existing cell phone plan. Use your new mailing address on the cell phone account and store your cell phone bills somewhere confidential. There are many affordable plans available online. For example, Check out exclusive web offers from T-Mobile.com!
Open your own bank accounts.
Do this at a bank in a neighboring town that is a convenient distance from home or work. Don’t do it at the bank you and your husband already use. Use your new mailing address on your accounts.
Get a copy of your credit report.
A credit report is a summary of your credit history and a record of your bill-paying practices. In divorce, you can use a credit report to determine the amount of debt you share with your husband. You may also use it to determine if your husband incurred any joint debt without your knowledge. Credit reporting companies commonly used include Fico Scores/Reports and/or Equifax Credit Report.
Make copies of important documents.
Gather the documents listed in our Copy Cat Worksheet and any others your lawyer recommends. Copy both sides of double-sided documents and all pages in a given document (i.e., Wells Fargo checking account statement pages one through eight). You may also scan the documents onto a disk instead of copying them.
Find a safe place to store important documents.
If you still live with your husband, ask your parents, a trusted friend, or your lawyer to hold your important documents for safekeeping. Don’t use your car trunk or the safe in your husband’s office.
Apply for your own credit card.
Do this at your new bank or through a low-interest, major credit card company. Use your new mailing address on the account, and make your monthly payments on time to establish good credit or improve bad credit. Clear from American Express® is a simple card with nothing to hide - no hidden fees, no fine print, no complicated redemption program. Apply Now!
Take an inventory of your personal property.
Whether you own antiques or second-hand furniture, create a list of your personal property. Identify when and who acquired the item, its fair market value and whether you’d like to receive the property in divorce. Take dated photographs of all expensive, sentimental or significant pieces and attach them to your inventory. If you have very valuable property, consider hiring an appraiser.
Talk to a financial advisor or accountant.
A qualified advisor or accountant can run spousal and child support calculations; identify tax issues; provide present values for deferred accounts; help prepare strategies for litigation, settlement or mediation; determine which assets are most and least valuable to you; and create a strategy for your financial independence.
Start planning for your legal expenses.
Whether you’re representing yourself or hiring a family lawyer, you’ll have some legal expenses in divorce. These expenses can run as low as your court’s filing fees or as high as the price of a new Mercedes. With this in mind, plan for the worst-case scenario. Talk to your lawyer about the estimated cost of divorce and ways to reduce your expenses. Spend less, open a line of credit to use as a safety net and explore other options for funding your divorce.
Consider closing or placing limits on joint credit accounts.
If you have joint credit cards or credit lines with your husband, ask your lawyer if you can close the accounts. If she says no, ask her if you can put spending limits on them. If you’re in an abusive marriage, talk to a domestic violence specialist before taking either of these steps.
Consider closing or freezing joint cash accounts.
If you have joint cash accounts with your husband, ask your lawyer if you can close the accounts. If your lawyer says no, ask if you can withdraw all or a portion of the funds and/or freeze the accounts. If your lawyer says no again, send letters to your banks stating no cash can be moved from the accounts without your written authorization. If you’re in an abusive marriage, talk to a domestic violence specialist before taking any of these actions.
Finish your education or professional training.
If you’re enrolled in college, graduate school or a professional training program and your relationship with your husband is stable, ask your lawyer about the legal consequences, if any, of finishing your education before initiating divorce.
Find a job.
If you don’t have a lot of cash or a steady source of income other than your husband, consider finding a job. A job can provide a stable income, health insurance coverage, retirement savings and many other benefits. It can also boost your self-esteem, improve your outlook on the future and give you independence. Use our Divorce Resources to get your job search started.
Find a place to live.
If you don’t want to stay in your family home and you’re financially able, ask your lawyer if you can find a new home. If your lawyer says yes, find a house or apartment that’s comfortable, affordable and practical and make it your home.